Stoy of my life....

Please forgive any spelling errors that may follow. The reason for them will likely become aparent as you read.

So, Dragon Con this year was one of the best times I've had in my entire life.  I got to meet lots of reall, really cool people, including getting to talk to a couple of Rachel's friends that I had heard such cool things about and been dying to meet for ages and who turned out to be even cooler than she'd made them out to be. I got to march in the parade with the Doctor Who group, who were all really, really neat people, and best of all, I got to meet Kim and Mike, who I really hit it off with better than anyone that I've met in years. We're even going to the Police concert in November together (I hope... more on that in a minute)

It may not be obvious to some of you who have just met me, but I have basically sucked at meeting people and making friends most of my life. I've always been the kind of person who figured the next guy was always more interesting and fun than I was. I guess it took having Rachel here to kind of bring me out of that shell a little bit. She'll probably laugh at that, because she says I'm the one who did that for her when we first met, but, really, it's true.

I finally felt, for the first time in years, that I was really enjoying life and looking forward to being a useful part of some communities. So of course, something would inevitibly have to go wrong.

I have just returned from the eye doctor, and I am typing this with some difficulty. I wish that I could say it was a scheduled appointment, but no, it was not. You see, when I went to bed Friday night, everything was fine, but when I woke up Saturday morning, it was difficult to see or read out of my left eye. No problem, I always have the right one right? Except I lost all central vision in that one in an accident when I was about 12.

Aparently, while I slept that night, two tiny blood clots found their way into the retina of my left eye. I now have 2 small blind spots in the central vision of my left eye. They may or may not be permanent. I can still see enough to read, with difficulty, at the moment, but viewing things like a TV is so annoying as to almost not be worth the effort.

I find it ironic that , just as I've found the most wonderful group of friends, and just as I'm feeling like a contributing member of some groups, I may be about to lose the ability to keep in contact with them because we communicate over the computer.

I know there are people who have it far worse than I do, but honestly, I just don't give a damn right now. All I can think about is how I'm going to be able to support everyone who is counting on me (Rachel, Kevin, and temporarily 2 others) if it gets any worse and I become unable to work because of it, and also, how I'm in danger of losing contact with all you guys that I've come to care about in the last few weeks.

I honestly don't know how I'd get through all this if I didn't have the most wonderful person in the world by my side. They just don't come any better than this woman. I could tell you in my own words how wonderful she really is, but I think her own words say it better than anything I ever could say.

"I don't care if we're homeless, I just want to be with you." She said to me once during a particularly bad period of my life.

As wonderful as that is, it gets better. One Christmas, when I was unable to get her a Christmas gift that I felt was worthy of her she said to me: "I don't need material things from you. Your friendship is the nicest gift that I have ever received."

I still cry every time I think about that one, because I think that has to be the nicest thing ever said by somone to somone else.

I see the retina specialist on Wednesday of next week, and we'll probably know more after that appointment. I'm not sure how religious I am, or any of you are, but if any of you are praying people, I'd appeciate it if you'd say one for me.

Oh, by the way...

Before I forget, let me mention how disatisfied I was with the triage system in place at the local ER.

I go in, tell them that I am RAPIDLY and progressively losing sight in my only good eye, and it takes them FOUR hours to even get me back to a room and longer than that to even look at me. Meanwhile, they take other obviously non quality of life threatening situations ahead of me. PISSED me off.

People with minor burns and broken fingers hurt, yes, but they WILL get better and aren't going to lose their hands from them. It quite reminded me of a bit from a 1983 movie called The Hunger (Anyone out there remember that one? I saw it frist at an Archon a long time ago...  had Catherine Deneuve, Susan Sarandon, and some Brit, who is far better known for being one of the most influential pop music writers of all time than he is for being an actor...  I'm willing to bet  that at least iheartbowie has seen it, and if not, she should! ) where a guy goes into an ER and tells them he's rapidly aging,  and they blow him off. When he comes back up to the desk, he looks about 90 years old. At least in my case, the damage was aparently done and the delay didn't matter, but still....

Alright, all this squinting is starting to hurt my eyes, I better get off the comp now :(